So You Think You Can Write - Reject-A-Hit Winner

by Cassy Schooling

To Suzanne Collins regarding The Hunger Games:

Dear Ms. Collins-

Let me just start out by saying that I have a really great therapist that I would be happy to give you the number of. Don’t contact me again unless you agree to see her.

Onto the book: even if you discounted the morbidity, violence, and disturbing nature of your novel, it would still be the worst thing I have read. Why the f*** would Katniss choose Peeta? Gale is hot, smart, sweet, badass, and did a bunch of stuff for Katniss and Prim. What  did Peeta do? Throw a crappy loaf of bread in the mud relatively nearby her when she was a kid? God, how romantic. You’re trying way too hard with the dystopian thing here lady. Just because the story takes place in the future doesn’t mean you have to name people after irrelevant flowers and round pieces of bread you make fajitas out of. Is it coincidence that Prim’s goat’s name is  Nan? Heres some advice: Keep your bread fetish out of your characters names.What the heck possessed you to write about a bunch of kids murdering each other anyway? How the heck am I supposed to market that? I hope you never have children if you really think that people would just let their kids be taken to die without there being any sort of uprising. If you’re going to try again, see a therapist first, develop a moral compass, get the bread fetish under control, and then give it another shot.